Snap, Crackle, Pop.

And other noises of London.

An alternate title to this post could have been “LOUD NOISES” a la Steve Carrell in Anchorman.

So, first: the cracking. There's a wall behind our refrigerator that has been making loud CRACK! noises for the past week. The friendly man from our management company came today to have a look/listen along with two handymen, and everyone sat around our kitchen table for ten minutes listening. I thought, "This is not what I imagined my first dinner party to be," and almost said it out loud, but I wasn't sure they'd find it funny, and I was also trying to maintain a very businesslike demeanor. I'm not a very scary person, so I need to try really hard to be serious and un-friendly when speaking to people-who-have-to-do-something-for-me-even-though-they-don’t-want-to kinds of people. I don’t know if it worked. I offered them all glasses of water. But I DID make them take their shoes off. So, there!

Second up on the list of Noises I Would Prefer to Live Without: BIRDS. I do not know what kind of nonsense is going on in that menagerie of a backyard of ours, but it is apparently a haven for all sorts of squawking birds with no sense of dignity, who parade around at all hours of the night like drunken idiots. ALL NIGHT. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT, BIRDS. Right now? Silence. It’s unbelievable. Literally: night owls. Except not actually owls.

So we finally have a sofa. And it is amazing. But: we don’t have a TV yet. It was supposed to come Monday with the sofa, and then it was supposed to come today, but, thank you John Lewis, it is not. Hopefully tomorrow. Or someone is in for a world of pain. Chris hooked up the desktop PC on Monday night and put the monitor on top of the entertainment center. We brought one box of DVDs with us, as I had the foresight that I might have sad rainy days when I just needed to watch Dirty Dancing or Singin’ in the Rain because I missed my grandma. I warned Chris when I was choosing what to bring that now was the time to speak up, and he shooed me away. But, as you know, I’m kind of an awesome wife and not only did I pack Star Wars in the box for him, but I also suggested that be what we watch our first night on our sofa. I’m still waiting for the day he says, “Honey, I have a great idea! Let’s watch every single Harry Potter movie today and do NOTHING else!”

One last note: Tulips are like, crazy cheap here for some reason. I want to be like: Holland, stop underrating yourself and giving it up for so little. You are worth just as much as these tiny roses, if not more. For goodness’ sake, what do you think you are: a carnation?!

Welcome to my brain, guys.



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