Snog, Marry, Avoid.

This is a real show. And it is on right now. And it is amazing.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT TELEVISION HERE. Uh, like, how they do something to the tenor of everyone’s voices? I swear I am not making this up. Everything is higher. Across every show. Suddenly Blair and Serena are like, two octaves more girly. Every show I know and love suddenly has a cast full of Alvin & the chipmunks. Bob Saget as the narrator in HIMYM sounds like… I don’t know… SOMEONE WITH A REALLY HIGH VOICE. I do not understand it. But I am absolutely not imagining it.

So back to Snog, Marry, Avoid (before I get too upset about the voices). They take people and give them “make-unders.” People who dress a little slutty, or wear way too much make-up and paint their eyebrows on, or walk around like it’s Halloween every day. You know the ones. And they put them in front of “The Pod” which is a personified camera, and actually a woman hurling insults through a robot voice filter. It’s incredible. So they take a photo (or video? I don’t know. I only saw one episode. Stop asking me.) of the person out to the streets, and poll strangers on whether they’d snog the person, marry the person, or avoid the person altogether. So the person is all indignant at first, obviously, and then POOF, they show them with their make-under and obviously they look gorgeous and stylish, and then they re-ask more people on the street, and now eeeeeveryone wants to snog and marry them.

Here’s my second television item: There is this amazing Colman’s commercial that comes on every 3.5 seconds here. I have included it for your viewing pleasure, below. Colman’s like the mustard. Except here, they have a much larger “range.” That’s what they say here for “product line.” Which, honestly, I have to give them credit for because that’s a much nicer term.

Gotta go, the Swarley episode of HIMYM is on.

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