Like, they say things like “a bit” instead of “a little” or “kinda.” They also say “sort of” a lot, but in a much different way than we do. Or maybe that’s just Jamie Oliver. I’ve been watching a lot of Jamie Oliver.
The Brit Awards aired here on Tuesday night. Case in point, of the weirdness: Their version of the Grammys aired on a Tuesday night. So, Chris and I obviously don’t know if it’s always like this, but this year at least, it was held in an arena. So there is a huge stage, as there would be at any concert, except the floor is covered with tables. And there are celebrities at them you don’t recognize. And everyone is wasted. The tables are absolutely littered with empties.
So people win awards. After they win awards, they proceed to the stage (as you do) and then, that British magic kicks in: They amble, seemingly aimlessly, around the stage, with their backs to the audience, uttering half-sentences that you, as the viewer, must use your university degree to make sense of. And you find yourself looking at your husband, horrified, thinking “OH MY GOD, THEY WOULD NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN IN THE STATES.” (Oh yeah, we refer to home as “the States” now, apparently.) Anyway, literally you are watching Chris Martin on stage accepting an award, and he is not only not the first person to speak (WHAT, pray tell, is going on here?!) but barely makes a full sentence when it comes to be his turn. And then Blur gets on stage and again, is unable to make full sentences, and they let them just WANDER AROUND THE STAGE without unceremoniously playing music to cut them off at an appropriate amount of time.
I mention all of this, because of the end result of said ambling. End of the evening. Penultimate award. BIG award. ALBUM OF THE YEAR. Adele, obviously. This chick is amazing, and the US is horrifyingly late to the game on her. She gets up, begins her speech, and is promptly cut off by the host, James Mordern. (Fans of Gavin & Stacey will recognize him. Oh, that’s just us with the British television obsession? Cool.) Why did they do this? So Blur could play four songs. In a row. And we were all “Oh, weird, Blur has more than one song?” AND THEY CUT OFF ADELE FOR IT. They also, juuuuust too late, cut away from her throwing up her right hand and flipping everyone off as a result of it. AMAZING.
This would never have happened in the States. And I cannot tell if I love that, or am totally horrified by it.